So...What Now?

So, what now? Is that a question you ask yourself often? I guess I have had that experience in the past few days or weeks. Last week, I had a complicated ear surgery, which the outcome is still in doubt. Will I hear again in my ear? Will I look different with my ear sewn on? So..what now?

Well, when I take a moment to reflect, the answer is clear. You just get up and move onward. Life deals all of us with a lot of challenges. Big and small and everything in between comes at us each day. Many challenges we just take on without thinking about, while others are so large as to weigh us down and push us over. 

The secret to moving on is to look for every possible opportunity within the challenge. Think about it. If someone has been told they a have life-threatening disease, the challenge is immense, yet they can look at the opportunities to connect deeper with family, take on something they thought they could never do, or embark on a spiritual journey. The opportunities are really endless. For me, well...so what if I look a little different, I can embrace my new-found look, laugh about it and know that it helps make me even more unique than I am. As for my hearing, well, I can always hear from one side, and I can always take the opportunity to see what technology is available to give me more hearing ability with what I have. Point is that nothing is lost, and all can be gained. How about that I can use the challenge to refocus my senses and talents on my other senses, visual and creative. I can move away from self-doubt and move into self-discovery. How exciting is that!!

Late today, an amazing friend of mine, Jim Bowers, sent me the following message that is timely and relevant in so many ways. Jim and I are artists, creators. He is also a dreamer, inspirational and authentic. We are both "perfectly imperfect", as he says. Here's what he had to say:

“Every single human being on this planet (NO EXCEPTIONS) has something BRILLIANT to offer mankind, whether they know it, believe it, or not. It may be obvious, or it may be hidden, deep within an insecurity. Self-doubt renders that BRILLIANT YOU undiscovered, unrecognized, and unappreciated. 

Given time, trust, and commitment, I WILL discover, reveal and then include that uniquely BRILLIANT contribution as an equally integral part of my/our Art. 

Above all else, this is what brings me true joy and my greatest sense of genuine accomplishment.” 

- Jim Bowers, Artist

These are words to live by. So, look at the brilliant YOU and discover your own Art, and say, "What now?"  I think you'll know the answer!!!

Comments please!!

So....What is the VALUE in you? BTW...Happy Holidays!

 Well, here we are. It's Christmas 2022. Do you feel like you are of value? Do you wonder if anyone cares? Well, first of all, YOU should care. Yes, no matter what you think - you are valuable. I remember ten years ago. Yes, that's right in 2012...I felt like no one cared. But the reality is that I didn't care about myself. Wow...how three-O stupid that was, huh? So, I want everyone to know this.... YOU are valuable. YOU are loved, by someone. And maybe that someone is YOU!! I don't care if you think this is BS, look deep inside of yourself. You KNOW you are worth something. I have worked with a lot of people...and when pressed, they DO find value in themselves. And so will you. Let's walk on this journey together. I promise you; you will find your own value...and a life of hope and dignity!!! Enjoy! 2023 will be OUR year!!

Fear, Commitment and Loosing Yourself

We all know that at the depth of the Great Depression, Franklin Roosevelt in his inaugural address stated, “the only thing we have to fear…is fear itself.” But what was FDR really trying to say to the depressed and disillusioned masses that had lost everything? Simply, that fear was just a feeling, an emotion and a state of mind that did not have to take over and consume every part of people’s lives. In effect, it’s just a word, like other words, but at the height of despair and ruin, people had given in to it. Millions had given in to a simple “word”.  What fear really does, if we let that “word” take over our minds and allow it to consume us, is to push us to the point where we end up losing ourselves. We start thinking we are something we are not and ultimately let fear drive every action we take, sometimes with awful results.

Yes, we all have fears. Many of us have a fear of flying, fear of dying and fear of snakes and spiders. But what about the fear of making a real commitment? Many relationships break down because one or the other partner has given in to their fear of being committed to someone else simply because they fear they might “loose” a part of themselves.  Often, these individuals let their fear take over and never even give the relationship a chance to grow and thrive. Their fear of losing something, anything of themselves, as unrealistic as it may be, stamps out the flame of happiness and contentment before it’s even had a chance to burn brightly. Imagine what they have lost by letting a simple word – fear – drive their actions. Not only have they lost the opportunity to self evolve in concert with another human being they may actually love, but they have lost the opportunity to evolve and grow themselves into a life of contentment and freedom from “fear”. For these individuals, the only thing they then have to fear…is themselves.

Giving and Taking - It’s All about Balance

I’ve been told over and over that I’m a “giver” in my life. That’s probably true. I love to give of myself, give to others and donate to causes I believe passionately about. But I also enjoy giving to those I love and care about too. In that is the issue. I’ve always given so much, without asking for anything in return, that I end up getting disappointed and hurt. The cause of this discord is that unconscious and unrealistic expectations are created. Our human nature causes us to think that “if you give, you shall also receive”, but the reality is that this almost never occurs. So many of us, myself included who are givers end up waiting for a return that doesn’t equal what we give out. We become disillusioned, disappointed and discouraged. If we let this go on long enough, we become hurt and unhappy with ourselves, even to the point that we feel that the problem is with “me”. At its worse, this spiraling downward and inward ends up becoming self-destructive to the point that we stop giving to the most important person who matters – ourselves.

To begin mastering the art of self-evolution, we (and I) need to take a step back and look at reality. The reality is that a happy, healthy life is all about balance. As a “giver”, we need to know that some people are truly “takers” and will take from us all we have if we let them. It becomes our own choice to let that happen or not. To evolve, we as givers who are seeking and needing balance need to seek out others who are also seeking and needing balance. We then need to open up a questioning dialogue between ourselves and listen to each other. We need to reach a point where we seek mutual understanding about what we need to give and what we need to take. In essence, each of us needs to find a proper balance. Finding this balance is not always easy or comfortable, but it will help each of us grow and evolve. In the end, happiness and contentment can and will come from achieving this simple balance between giving and taking in our lives, but only if we open up to it.