Giving and Taking - It’s All about Balance

I’ve been told over and over that I’m a “giver” in my life. That’s probably true. I love to give of myself, give to others and donate to causes I believe passionately about. But I also enjoy giving to those I love and care about too. In that is the issue. I’ve always given so much, without asking for anything in return, that I end up getting disappointed and hurt. The cause of this discord is that unconscious and unrealistic expectations are created. Our human nature causes us to think that “if you give, you shall also receive”, but the reality is that this almost never occurs. So many of us, myself included who are givers end up waiting for a return that doesn’t equal what we give out. We become disillusioned, disappointed and discouraged. If we let this go on long enough, we become hurt and unhappy with ourselves, even to the point that we feel that the problem is with “me”. At its worse, this spiraling downward and inward ends up becoming self-destructive to the point that we stop giving to the most important person who matters – ourselves.

To begin mastering the art of self-evolution, we (and I) need to take a step back and look at reality. The reality is that a happy, healthy life is all about balance. As a “giver”, we need to know that some people are truly “takers” and will take from us all we have if we let them. It becomes our own choice to let that happen or not. To evolve, we as givers who are seeking and needing balance need to seek out others who are also seeking and needing balance. We then need to open up a questioning dialogue between ourselves and listen to each other. We need to reach a point where we seek mutual understanding about what we need to give and what we need to take. In essence, each of us needs to find a proper balance. Finding this balance is not always easy or comfortable, but it will help each of us grow and evolve. In the end, happiness and contentment can and will come from achieving this simple balance between giving and taking in our lives, but only if we open up to it.