Discovering Self-Reliance - Another Life Lesson

In this post I want to share another excerpt from my book-in-progress, “Life Lessons I Learned on the Playa.” Here, I talk about the principle of radical self-reliance and a true revelation for me that happened on the playa. Simply, you may find value in an experience when you least expect it. What may have seemed trivial or unimportant at the time, may reveal much more to you when you think about it or tell the story to others. This is what happened to me in this part of my playa lesson story. I ended up discovering true value in myself when I told this story to others after the experience and found value has become useful in my life. Maybe, you have had a similar experience... 

 A PLAYA SLIDE AND A REVELATION 

In 2011, I committed to arriving on the playa five days before the gates opened to the majority of participants as I was there to assist my amazing friend Jim Bowers with the 1MileClock art project I was participating in. Originally, I had planned on being there with a close friend of mine, but he bailed on me just days before our planned arrival on the playa, leaving me to go it alone. That meant that this would be the first year I’d be arriving on the playa alone without a companion to help me get things set up. The day before I left for the playa, my anxiety rose, a feeling that I had not experienced in a long time, and definitely not in my prior departures for Burning Man, when I went with my partner at the time.  Arriving early meant that I would have to select the campsite area, set up my tent, shade structures, and camp kitchen all by myself. Even given my prior years' experience in doing this, this time it was a foreign and disconcerting concept for me. I had always had someone there to help me out. If something went wrong this time, help wouldn’t be right beside me. This time, I only had one person – me – to rely on. 

 

I arrived on the playa in the late afternoon after a long six-hour ride from the San Francisco Bay Area. As I drove up to the gates, I could see the 120-foot-tall Temple of Transition rising in the distance. In the waning light of the afternoon, the hot dry wind was blowing clouds of dust high into the air towards the distant slopes of the mountains. As I parked the SUV, I noted that there was no one even remotely close to my location at the corner of 9:30 and D. With the light fading fast, I began to unload the vehicle, first pulling out my bicycle and then two bundles of 4-foot long styrofoam pool noodles. I had set the noodle bundles next to my bike and turned to get more out of the truck. When I did, the wind came up in a gust and picked up the noodle bundles, quickly whisking them across the open, seemingly endless playa. I dropped what I had in my arms and began sprinting to catch them. After I had run maybe 200 yards, I was able to catch one of the bundles. I tucked it under my arm and took off running again, thinking that the only thing to stop the remaining bundle would be the mountains in the distance. By now, I was huffing pretty hard and still running as fast as I could. I managed to get close to the remaining bundle after about 100 yards and thought this would be my chance. I took the bundle I had under my arms and swung it out to hit the tumbling bundle in front of me. As I did, my forward motion, along with the catching of the bundles together caused me to trip and then literally fly shirtless, face and belly down over the bundles and onto the hard playa where I slide for maybe 8 or 10 feet before coming to a stop. I had managed to save the pool noodle bundles but had inflicted some pretty severe scrapes on my chest, arms and elbows. As I sat up, I noticed that I was bleeding pretty good and was in a bit of shock physically. And there was no one around to help me.  

  

In the last moments of afternoon light, I stood up, turned around and slowly walked back across the open playa to the SUV. I secured the noodle bundles and then just stood there for a moment. I remember wondering if I should just start crying or laugh at myself.  Then I went to the SUV and found some paper towels and bottled water and started to clean myself off. I got the first aid kit out, realizing it would not be much help. So, I proceeded to wrap myself in the paper towels and then used duct tape to keep them in place. Then calmly, I continued with setting up my camp. Thinking about it, I could have given up and left the playa or I could have just laid down and let things go as they may. Others might have. I might have in my past. But as night fell and I sat there outside of my tent surrounded by the vast dark expanse of nothingness, I looked up at a night filled with stars and realized that I had found something deep inside of me. It had been there all the time. It took a “playa slide” for me to find that I was truly self-reliant, a real survivor, and more alive than I had ever realized.  

It is amazing how a single, seemingly negative and painful experience, opened my eyes to who I could be...and likely always had been. I could feel confident in relying on...myself!! Every time I share this story, I get emotional. I love seeing others find their own realization of self-reliance. It's a beautiful thing. Imagine that! It was a true life lesson, at a most unexpected time in a most unexpected place. The principle of radical self-reliance of Burning Man states, “Burning Man encourages the individual to discover, exercise and rely on their inner resources.”  I was able to do just that! Not such a radical idea, right!!?  

Learn more about The Burning Man Project and the 10 Principles at The 10 Principles of Burning Man | Burning Man

Here are some views of that afternoon and early evening in August, 2011, including the pool noodles - on the playa.